Ghosts love a bargain as much as the next supernatural entity. A ghost embedded in the Cash 4 Toners warehouse wants to sell us a dozen boxes of genuine Xerox Phaser ink cubes!
Cash4Toners shipping-and-receiving clerk Trevon Keith claims spirits invaded the Cash4Toners warehouse late last week.
“I don’t know if it’s because of Halloween, or the giant hellmouth we found behind an old box of toners, but things are really strange,“ Keith said. “I think the spirits came to sell us toner cartridges! Maybe even ink!”
Keith lost a finger in a tragic packing tape incident, however.
First, Cash4Toners CEO Joe Chavez spent the night in the warehouse. Ultimately, Chavez saw nothing out of the ordinary aside from a few stray recycled toner cartridges. However, Chavez was blinded by mysterious rain of daggers. “Ouch!” Chavez said. As a result of the blinding, Chavez clutched his gore-streaked face.
“People are dying to get our free ground shipping!” Chavez chuckled. Oddly, Chavez levitated three feet off the warehouse floor. Also, he spoke in an ancient tongue.
Macy Waters, C4T shipping-and-receiving clerk, found the haunting “profoundly disturbing.” Waters flowed on, calling Joe Chavez’s an “old toner fool.”
“That ancient tongue is so old and gross,” Waters said. “We should really replace it with a fresh, young tongue.”
As a result, Cash4Toners Human Resource director Andrea Carey chastised Waters for being “age-ist.” Hence, Waters’ is currently enrolled in a re-education program atop the warehouse roof.
“I get so rundown this time of day,” Carey said, before sliding into a hot bath of cyan ink.